It has now been just over a month since I last posted.  I’m still not smoking, as of now, but there have been a couple slips along the way.  Mostly it was just me in my old habit not paying attention.  Over the course of the last few months there has been something going on with Kim that (I think) I have failed to mention on here.  It was mainly due to the, “Let’s see what happens with it before I say anything” kind of thing.  Well, I guess now is a good enough time.

In the past 7 years, Kim has been pregnant 3 times.  She is one of the odd women that enjoys the pregnancy time.  She says it is almost “magical” time.  In that same time we have come to the agreement that 3 children of our own is all we wanted.  This kinda bummed Kim out a bit, but since I got snipped just over a year ago, yeah, it is sure not going to be mine.  Introducing, Surrogate Kim.

She started researching surrogacy quite a while ago, and really started researching late last year.  At least that’s when I really started noticing it.  She talked with quite a few agencies, requested information, and just made general inquiries.  Then she came across a few that she really liked.  From there she did their questionnaires for potential surrogates.  After all this time she narrowed it down to one that she really liked.  I’ll stick with her abbreviations for simplicity.   CS has gone through all the medical records for Kim as well as background checks (criminal and bankruptcy) for both of us.  We did the phone call “interview” with the social worker from the agency.  Then we were told we’d get emails for potential intended parents (IP’s for short).  Well, while on the phone with the social worker I made it clear that I’d prefer someone in the USA, but Kim also let it be known that she was not opposed to an international match as well.  Kim also talked about the time she spent in Germany as a child, and it was brought up that my family had once had a German exchange student.  Yeah, so “K” (the social worker doing the interview) dropped a little tidbit for us.  There was a couple in Germany that has been waiting for 6 months to find a surrogate.  That’s it.  Dangle the carrot.

Now, again, I didn’t want an international match, but really, something just felt okay with this one.  We rely on our gut instincts for some things around here, and this seemed like one of those times.  C.S.’s legal department went through to make sure the laws between here and Germany were complimentary, and apparently they were.  Once they cleared us legally, they sent us the info on the couple in Germany.  Now, keep in mind that the couple had already seen our information and said they liked us and wanted to move forward.  Then we got their info.  Kim was taking Paige to school when I checked her email (knowing something should be arriving very soon) and when I saw that email with the subject line reading “Potential Match”….yeah, I tried calling her to tell her to hurry up and get home.  We then both sat and read through the information and looked at the included pictures.  I don’t know why, but we didn’t send the reply immediately saying, “We like this couple.  We’d like to move forward.”  We figured we’d wait and do it the next day.  So Friday morning we talked about it a little bit more after Kim got home from work.  Then she went to bed.  I should have emailed while she was sleeping, but didn’t.  This poor couple had to sit and wait all weekend to hear an answer that we knew pretty much immediately after reading their profiles.

Monday morning they heard the news that we would like to move forward.  Next up, a conference call.  AWKWARD.  Kim likened this to a blind date.  Thankfully, I’ve never had to go on one before, but I can figure the uncertainty.  So this morning Kim pulled up a chair at my desk and we pulled open Skype.  After a few technical difficulties we had a video call underway.  However, there was some bandwidth problems and eventually we settled for a Skype voice call.  At least we got to see their faces for a few minutes first!

About the couple.  One of the things that Kim and I both agreed on was that the ideal couple would be composed of two gay men.  Why?  Not to discredit women, or anything like that, but the thought of being able to help a couple that could in no way, shape or form carry a baby themselves was ideal.  These two guys seem very happy, have a very stable support group consisting of friends, parents and I believe “Grandma” was tossed in there as well.

Once the call was done we sent an email to C.S. saying, yes, we like these two.  So, N & Y, we hope you liked us too.

Ok, so Kim had a follow up appointment yesterday with the Gastrointestinal doctor.  They did another CT scan and I think bloodwork.  This morning she got a call that they found out the pocket of fluid in her abdomen was bigger than it was on the last CT scan that was done.  Great.  At least this time they could drain it!

So, this afternoon I dropped of Aiden at school then came home to relax for a little while.  We headed out around 1345 and dropped off Kim at the hospital since her appointment was at 1430.  After dropping her off Paige, Finn and I headed to pick up Aiden from school.  Thankfully, we only got behind one bus that made four stops along the way.  We got to Aiden’s school about 20 minutes early….so we got dibs on the spot right in front of the school in the pickup lane!

Aiden’s loaded up, and we’re off! We stop by the house because Paige needs to potty, then we stop and get a snack, and finally we reach the hospital.  Kim should have been done somewhere around 1600.  Instead, at just after 1600 I get a text message from her stating she was still in the waiting room waiting to be taken back.  Crap.  Kim suggests I take the kids somewhere to eat.  Off to Red Robin….

One burger with fries and root beer, one mac and cheese with fries and Sprite, and 2 chicken tenders with carrots and milk…oh, and four ounces of formula for Finn….later….we leave.  Ok, this was not my shining moment.  I managed to take the big kids to the potty (individually mind you) while watching the other older child and Finn at the table from the bathroom doors, making sure each child washed their hands and Finn didn’t fall from the carseat.  Then we all ate no problem.  Even got stopped by Paige in between the two sets of doors so that they could get a balloon.  I told them to hold on tight because if they blew away I wasn’t going to go get any more.  As I am loading up Finn, Paige and Aiden are getting in the van on the other side.  Something happens and the balloon and my sanity….pop!

Now, I went to bed at around 0200 (my fault), got up at 0700 so that I could make sure Paige was dressed, fed and hair done before school, then ran around a TON today.  I was tired, my wife was in having her fourth procedure (that I wasn’t sure if it was going to do any good), and Aiden and Paige were both screaming crying because the balloon popped.  Paige was screaming/crying because it scared the shit out of her, and Aiden was screaming/crying because it was his balloon and…well…he’s a bit of a drama queen.  I lost it.  I yelled.  I yelled louder because they didn’t listen the first time I yelled.  Then I had to yell to be heard over their screaming.  Again, not my finest moment.  Finally got them buckled in and I moved the van towards the front door.  Thankfully, one of the employees was outside, so I asked for another orange (Aiden’s favorite color) balloon without having to leave the kids in the car by themselves.  One new balloon, an apology from Daddy, and we’re on our way.

The hospital called at the end of dinner to let us know that Kim was done.  Everything went well and, hey, guess what…they found that the pocket of fluid was seperated by a “wall”.  Nifty.  She has two holes in her abdomen.  In any case, she is feeling great, well she was when she went to bed.  We are hopeful that this will be the end of it, and that she will now be pain free from this gallbladder incident.  Now, about that other problem…..

Been a filled, stressing, horrible and hope-filled couple of days.  Yesterday started off great.  I woke up around 0530 to feed Tank.  When I got up around 0730 with him I noticed Kim was in bed already.  This was very unusual for her to be in bed already.  She had gotten to come home early yesterday morning and was actually in bed when I got up to feed Tank.  Cool, that means she’ll be able to get up a little earlier than normal so that I can go to the DMV to renew my newly expired Driver’s License.  This past Friday was my birthday, and as such, my license expired on that day.  I didn’t remember, but Kim did…around 1600 when it was too late to do anything about it.  I didn’t worry about it because I never go anywhere with all three kids by myself anyway.

So yesterday at around noon I left with my buddy Puma to get my DL renewed.  I had to go in this time because I’d had LASIK since the last one and needed the restriction removed….no more corrective lenses for me.  While I was out Kim called me and asked me to bring her a peppermint hot chocolate.  I could tell she was having an “episode”.  I asked her then if she was ok, and she said she was.  Then I got home, she was smiling and taking a couple pictures of Tank.  Then she turned to me and I could see that she was in pain.  I asked how long she’d been in pain, and she said not long.  We proceeded to watch an episode of Bones (more on Bones some other time) and after a while she hopped up and was standing behind the couch.  This was how she dealt with pain.  I asked her if she wanted to go to the ER, and she said no.

Fast forward a while longer (and a few more times asking if she wanted to go in) when she looked at me and said she thought we should head in.  A very good friend, Christine, again bailed us out with the kids and Kim and I headed in.  While we were there (at least we got a different room this time) the doctor ordered a CT Scan of her chest and a X-Ray of her abdomen.  As near as the on call GI doc could tell one of her stents was trying to migrate.  Oh yeah, we found out yesterday that she got not one, but two stents a couple weeks ago.  Would have been nice to have had that information.  The one we didn’t know about is the suspect in her pain in her left side.  In any case, Dr. G.I. suggested the stents either be removed or replaced sooner rather than later.  After that she got a dose of pain meds and we were on our way home, after the 15 minute post-drug-check-to-make-sure-you-don’t-go-apeshit waiting period.

As soon as the G.I. doctor’s office opened this morning I was on the phone.  We wanted her stents dealt with today.  As of now, they are.  Kim is currently in the Operating Room with her first G.I. doctor.  We’re all hopeful that this will take care of the pain she’s been having and be the end of the tunnel that we were told we should she the light from.  Her procedure should soon be completed and hopefully it will be her last for a great long while.  Next up is the tonsils in the next year….I don’t think either of us is ready for her to go back under for another procedure that is supposed to be “quick and easy”.